I was surprised to discover, homeschooling is not merely a way to educate children…it is a path of sanctification for the whole family, especially you. At times it feels heavy because it is heavy. You are shaping souls. You are managing meals AND minds. You are balancing the upkeep involved with daily life with the pressure to “get it all done” without fully outsourcing education to those hired by a school district.
More Is Caught Than Taught
There’s a phrase I remind myself of often. More is caught than taught.
It’s true. Your children are learning far more from who you are than from any lesson plan you implement.
That doesn’t mean academics don’t matter. It means your peace, your holiness, your habits— all of those quiet things behind the scenes- are forming your children more deeply than the perfect curriculum ever could.
“Parents have a grave responsibility to give good example to their children.”
—Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2223
This is why forming your own soul matters. Your mother culture—your reading, your prayer, your rest, your interior life is essential.
There is a book called Mother Culture that introduced me to this concept. I had previously been solely focused on my children’s education; curriculum picks, books and the like, but didn’t realize the flow of our home, my rhythms and my own development make an impact far greater than these academic tools alone.
“The home-teacher does a lot of taking care, so she needs to take care of herself, too. Much depends on how she manages her life.” – Karen Andreola
You Need Support- Not Just Sacrifice
All mothers make sacrifices out of love for their children. Many homeschool moms can think:
“I’m a stay at home mom, so I should be available 24/7.”
“Other people are doing this without any help, so I should too.”
“I’m not a ‘boss babe’ or working mom, so I don’t deserve breaks.”
This mindset is not holy. It can actually be harmful. You don’t become a better homeschool mom by running yourself into the ground. You become one by nurturing yourself so you can nurture them. Pouring from a full cup. Being a stay at home mother is a different cross to carry than that of a payroll homemaker. (I love this term Flylady Kat, from Youtube, uses to describe working motheres.)
“You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
—Mark 12:31 (ESV–Catholic Edition)
It is not selfish or “wrong” to:
- Hire a house cleaner.
- Ask your spouse for a consistent weekly break.
- Pay for a babysitter so you can do your shopping, take back returns, take a shower or respond to emails in silence.
- Budget for extra help in your home life- subbing out lawn mowing, grocery delivery and other tasks.
That’s not laziness- it’s being strategic where it counts. It’s stewardship over your time and utilizing your resources it ways to bring your family greater peace. I am saying this because I wrestle with it myself- and have for many years! Especially having children so young or young and close in age. For me, I felt like it was a bad thing to have help. I got to a point where I realized, I wasn’t bad at doing things, but there is literally only so much time in a day and only one of me in relation to 6 children.
Reliable, dependable time to recharge is not a luxury. It is necessary to maintain your sanity! It may even just be for a season, you needn’t commit to it forever. It is an investment in your family’s well-being. I am grateful my husband understands and supports this. He actually is more encouraging for me getting extra help than I am myself many times.
If your husband has an unrealistic expectation or doesn’t understand the need for additional help, my best advice is to pray for him to understand. Another tip is to encourage him to talk with another dad friend who you know, like, and admire as a couple who does see the need to budget for his wife to have some extra help. This is a great way to give him greater perspective without coming off as a nagging or ungrateful wife.
Mother Culture Book
The book is a refreshing read and one that I go back to for repeated encouragement time and time again. Establishing good habits and cultivating a warm, thoughtful home atmosphere makes a difference in lives and formation of our children.
You’re Not Just Teaching. You’re Living.
Homeschooling is not solely about academics. It’s about formation. It shapes who they become.
And your motherhood- the hidden, daily offering of it- is forming the hearts of saints. You might not see it now, but it is happening. In the warmth of your presence, in the quiet prayers over their heads, in the messy kitchen tables and the bedtime routine.
This is holy work.
So take a breath. Think about where in your family’s life there is a need for extra help. Pray for grace. He is with you day-by-day, sculpting you into the woman he wants you to be!